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Saturday, January 3, 2009

Another Year

So here we are. Another year....(my Dad's last on this planet in his current form.) New Years eve sucked. Mostly because we had left Florida early that morning and we were too tired and emotionally drained to get together with any of our friends. So instead we flipped between Carson Daily and Brian Seacrest. Don't know if I spelled their names right, don't really care. It wasn't bad at first, but watching a bunch of teenage performers partying in Time Square? Way to make me feel old. What are the networks thinking? Who do they think sits home and watches these shows? Twenty-somethings? NO, they are out partying because they don't need to hire babysitters or wake up with their kids at 6 am. They also probably don't think about the boat load of money they just spent on getting gifts for those kids, and probably don't have that unsettling twinge of panic in their belly that as careful as they were they may have overspent and now are not sure if they can still afford to upgrade the 80 year old insulation in the third floor eaves.........gasp......or redo that bath tub that is leaking into their newly renovated kitchen space.......what? Oh...I digressed. What was I saying? Funny, I meant to write an entry about my Dad, and preparing for his death. Funny, in that while my heart can hold nothing but the sadness of this, my brain does nothing but attempt to focus on the details of my life spinning around me. Silly, and inane as it is, it is...my life. For now it keeps the tears away, because while Dad is approaching his death, he is not there yet. It is an uncomfortable, in between place, to be sure, but I would like to stay here for a little while.

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